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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Monument Fire getting dire

The fire that started Sunday afternoon is potentially now at 6500 acres with 24 homes destroyed in Ash Canyon when a massive flare-up occurred early in the afternoon.

Edit 20 Sep 11: This fire ended up burning over 30,000 acres. We were evacuated for four days. The nightmare lasted ten days.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A new fire closer to home




This fire broke out this afternoon in the Coronado National Memorial. It was first reported at around 80 acres, but grew to 1000 by 6pm. Kevin and I saw the fireline race up Thompson peak, the round top viewable from our neighborhood. Smoke is filling the valley. People in Ash and Stump canyon were asked to prepare for evacuation. Fire trucks from all kinds of districts were racing down Highway 92. I can see fire from our rooftop.

This fire is only eight miles away on the border. Winds are in our favor and we have plenty of road and homes blocking this fire, but the bad air could mean bad news for plenty of people closer to this fire.

This fire looks contained now as I'm not hearing the aircraft fly overhead anymore, but I can still see spot fires from our neighborhood's viewpoint.

This fire is a little too close for comfort and I doubt I'll be resting well tonight. Kevin's already out because he drank too much beer again.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Blazing Arizona

























Sources: http://wallow.us www.inciweb.org

The wildfires I had predicted in March after damage from the Deep Freeze was evident are now coming to fruition. Unfortunately, the fires are WORSE than predicted. The biggest fire is the Wallow Fire (named after the once-lush Bear Wallow Canyon in the White Mountains). That fire was started by two campers who left their campsite unattended to go for a dayhike, only to come back to see the area ablaze and their two dogs, which they had tied to trees in their absence, burned to death. A friend of mine who's a hydrologist for Fort Huachuca, and who once worked for the forest service, told me that gruesome news this past weekend.

The fire is now over 389,ooo acres big. The daily news and weather forecasts spend most of their attention on these fires. Eagar and Greer are being evacuated.

Sunrises and sunsets continue to be dominated by streaks of brown. Every morning I get on my rooftop to get a better view of the sunrise. The colors I see are pretty accurate at predicting how hazy a day it will be. Yesterday the winds blew most of the smoke northerly; today it looks more like a easterly wind.

As of tomorrow the Coronado National Forest will be closed for all activities. This will be enforced until the monsoon seasons arrive, and they can't arrive fast enough.


The most current fire news now is the following:
The Murphy Complex fire, a combo of two former fires (Murphy-Pajarita) is now at 67,051 acres. That one began 30 May by alleged drug runners.

The Horseshoe2 Fire is at 106,661 acres.

Monday, June 6, 2011

The Wallow Fire is growing fast



This fire has already surpassed the fire in southern Georgia that has burned since late April. The National Forest Service has decided to close the Coronado National forest effective Thursday at noon due to high fire danger. Anyone caught could face fines of up to $5000. I hope the illegals know this!

The fires have made sunsets and sunrises rather ugly. During the day the haze and heat are unbearable.

From inciweb.org:

The Wallow Fire is burning actively in eastern Arizona near the communities of Nutrioso and Alpine. A COMMUNITY MEETING IS BEING HELD AT THE ROUND VALLEY HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM TONIGHT (MONDAY) AT 6:00 P.M.

Size:

233,522 acres. The difference in acreage is due to an update from an infrared flyover of the fire from Sunday night.

Current Evacuations

· The evacuation of Blue River residents by Greenlee County officials remains in effect.

· The evacuation order for the communities of Alpine and Nutrioso by Apache County Emergency Management remains in effect.

Evacuations today by the Apache County Sheriff's Office included the following subdivisions along highways 180/191: Escudilla Mountain Estates, Bonita, White Mtn. Acres, and the H-V Ranch. This area includes CR 4000, CR 4001, and CR 4225.
Residents in the communities affected by this fire are asked to remain prepared in the event an order is needed.
Pre-Evacuation Advisories

· The pre-evacuation notice by the Apache County Sheriff's Office to the residents of Greer community and the surrounding areas remains in effect.

· Catron County Sheriff's Office has issued a pre-evacuation notice to the residents of Luna, New Mexico.

Fire Update

· Firefighters continue perimeter control in conjunction with San Carlos and Ft. Apache Indian reservations and continue point protection around values at risk.

· Fire crews will continue efforts to protect structures in the Escudilla Flats area and along Bill Knight Rd.

· Spot fires occurred up to 3 miles ahead of the fire on the northeast flank due to extreme winds.

· A Red Flag warning has been issued today for the hours of 10 am to 8 pm due to low humidity and high winds.

Closures:

Due to extreme fire conditions, the Apache National Forest is closed to all public entry. Property owners and their guests will continue to have access to private lands within the Forest. See website for closure order details. Please see the Forest website for more information: http://www.fs.fed.us/r3/asnf/

Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests Fire Restrictions: A Temporary Emergency Closure Order for the Apache National Forest was issued effective June 3 at 12:00 p.m. (noon). For more information, please call the Arizona fire restrictions hotline 1-877-864-6985 or visit http://www.wildlandfire.az.gov/.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Arizona is burning.


We now have wildfires all over the state and the two largest ones are in the White Mountains near Hannigan Meadows and the closer Horseshoe 2 Fire in the Chiricahuas. The Forest Service officially closed the White Mountains a few minutes ago and is busy evacuating all the campers. This doesn't bode too well. The fire there is spreading too fast with today's high winds.

Effective Now: Evacuation orders for everyone in Alpine to leave the area by 8 p.m. tonight
Posted: Thursday, June 2, 2011 5:15 pm

This is an evacuation order: EFFECTIVE NOW, Everyone in the Alpine Area is required to have left the area by 8:00 PM Tonight

Alpine Area Evacuees are requested to go to Blue Ridge High School in Pinetop-Lakeside, AZ, or to call and register with the Wallow Fire Joint Information Center if they go to a different location. Please call 928-333-3412 to register.

The evacuation route is as follows: Take U.S. Highway 180 north to Springerville, then U.S. Highway 60 west to Show Low, then State Route 260 east to Pinetop-Lakeside. It is requested that you DO NOT TAKE State Route 260 west to Pinetop-Lakeside.

The northern evacuation route for residents of Blue, AZ is blocked. Residents of Blue should plan to take Forest Road 232 (Pueblo Park Road) into New Mexico.

An American Red Cross shelter has been established at Blue Ridge High School, 1200 West White Mountain Boulevard.

All evacuees are required to check in with Red Cross personnel after arrival. The shelter that has been established is a no-pet shelter.

For more information call: 928-333-3412 or call 593 from a landline or Cellular One cell phone.

NOTE: A Community Meeting will be held at 6 p.m. tonight at the Alpine Community Center. Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests personnel and Eastern Arizona Incident Management Team representatives will present information about the Wallow Fire and answer questions.

Stay posted to WMIcentral.com and the White Mountain Independent for additional updates.

Prior Post 06/02/2011, 4:27 p.m. - Pre-evacuation alert for Alpine in effect

This is a 12-24 hour pre-evacuation alert. There is a possibility of an evacuation within 12 hours in the Alpine area. It is recommended that residents within that area prepare for the shelter and care of their animals. It is also recommended that irreplaceable personal property, such as important documents, be gathered and packed. Pack sufficient clothing for a possible extended stay. If possible, arrange for lodging with friends or relatives.

Once again, this is an alert of the possibility of an evacuation within 12 hours in the Alpine area. This is a preliminary notification. This warning notice applies only to residents of Alpine, AZ.

The northern evacuation route for residents of Blue, AZ will be blocked if an evacuation order is issued.

Any evacuation notice will come from the Apache County Sheriff’s Office. Fire and other emergency services personnel will also attempt to notify residents in the event of an evacuation. Notification will be delivered to residents by direct contact or by telephone.

This is only a pre-evacuation alert. In the event of an evacuation order you will be notified about evacuation routes and centers.

A call center has been established. Person calling for information can call the following numbers: Frontier or Cellular One customers can dial 593. All other callers may call 928-333-3412.

“I want to encourage all residents to avoid rumors and hearsay, please use the official information sources. If an evacuation is ordered, residents will be notified by Apache County personnel either in person or by telephone. My deputies and other emergency services personnel will make all the necessary notifications when they become necessary, stated Sheriff Joseph Dedman.

The United States Forest Service has closed the Apache Sitgreaves Forest. The following campgrounds and areas are closed, including Big Lake Recreation area, Hannagan Meadows, KP Campground, Gabaldon and Mt Baldy Wilderness areas. Law enforcement personnel from USFS, Apache County Sheriff’s Office, AZ Game and Fish, AZ DPS and the Greenlee County Sheriff’s Office are currently evacuating remaining visitors from the closure areas.

These closures are due to the continued growth of the Wallow Fire, which was estimated to have consumed over 40,000 acres as of this morning. The Eastern Arizona Incident Management Team continues to direct the fire fighting efforts of over 600 personnel in the effort to bring containment to this fire.

Prior Post 06/02/2011, 9:30 p.m. - Wallow Fire grows to 40,509 acres as of today; more area closures in effect

The Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests has announced it is expanding the Closure Area affecting the Alpine Ranger District effective immediately. The new closure area also includes the following:

· Big Lake Recreation Area

· The road to Big Lake will be closed at the scenic overlook

· Gabaldon Campground is closed

· Mt. Baldy Wilderness is closed

· The entire trail system within the wilderness is closed

Permitees who have a legitimate need to access the area must obtain a permit from the District Ranger.

The Wallow Fire has also forced the closure of sections of State Routes 261 and 273 (the main access roads to Big Lake and Crescent Lake), SR 261 is closed starting seven miles south of SR 260 to Crescent Lake and SR 273 is closed between Sunrise Park and Big Lake. US 191 is closed between Alpine and the Strayhorse Campground. There is no estimated time for reopening these highways.

Due to the fire and road closures the following areas should also be avoided: Tonto Lake, Reservation Lake, Pacheta Lake and Drift Fence Lake on the White Mountain Apache Reservation.

NOTE: A Community Meeting will be held at 6 p.m. tonight at the Alpine Community Center. Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests personnel and Eastern Arizona Incident Management Team representatives will present information about the Wallow Fire and answer questions.

The Wallow Fire is about 12 miles shy of Alpine having increased in size from 6,700 on Wednesday to its current size of 40,509 acres.

Before yesterday's activity, the fire was moving at an average of a half-mile to a mile every day. Yesterday the fire increased in size by over 5 miles.

The Eastern Arizona Interagency Incident Management Team (one of four Type II teams in the United States) is directing the fire battle under the direction of Incident Commander John Philbin.

Containment is currently estimated at zero percent.

Forest Service public information officer Bob Dyson said given the continued dry windy weather, the forecast is not favorable for firefighters' efforts.

The fire has prompted evacuations of residents in Apache County whose homes are threatened and is threatening Hannagan Meadow Lodge. The lodge is still open, however the area is smoke ridden and there is flying ash in the air. Campgrounds in the area have also been evacuated.

“It’s staying on the west side of Fish Creek. The wind is out of the east this morning and it’s supposed to come out of the southwest later today," Lodge Manager Janice Muldoon said on Wednesday.

As of Thursday morning there were 601 personnel and 16 handcrews assigned to the fire.

Equipment resources include 14 engines, six water tenders, four dozers, three heli-tankers, two air attack planes, one medium and two light helicopters and four airtankers.

Additional crews are on their way to help battle the blaze.

Dyson said the plan Thursday is to conduct defensive operations and try to keep the fire from reaching Big Lake or from moving west onto the White Mountain Apache Reservation.

"What we need now is boots on the ground," he said.

In addition to Hannagan Meadow Lodge there are two guest ranches to the northeast of the fire and directly in the path of the wind driven fire.

Dyson said both were “defensible.” noting that the Forest Service has performed extensive work over the last couple of days to protect Hannagan Meadow Lodge.

On May 31, the Forest Service imposed fire restrictions across the Apache-Sitgreaves National Forest.

No campfires are allowed except those in fire grills in developed recreation sites. Smoking in the forest is also prohibited except in a closed vehicle or within a building.

Although Highway 191 remains open, the Forest Service has closed two campgrounds, the KP Cienega and Hannagan campgrounds, and some roads on the west side of 191. The main water source for the fire crews is Acre Lake and the road to it has been closed.

Fire Facts

Date started: 5/29/2011

Personnel: 601, including 16 handcrews

Current location: 12 miles SW of Alpine, AZ

Equipment: 14 engines, 6 water tenders, 4 dozers

Cause: under investigation

Aircraft: 3 heli-tankers, 2 Air Attack planes,

Size: 40,509 (infrared flight)

1 med. and 2 light helicopters, 4 Air Tankers

Percent contained: 0

Estimated containment date: Unknown

Injuries to date: 0

Cost to date: $1,768,122

Prior Post 06/01/2011, 7:30 p.m. - Evacuations in effect due to Wallow Fire's progression; up to 15,000 acres burned

After briefing the public at a community meeting held tonight at the Round Valley High School Auditorium in Springerville, officials are estimating the Wallow Fire has consumed up to 15,000 acres.

Smoke today has made it impossible to obtain a clear acreage count. Infrared survalliance is expected to gain more accurate acreage numbers tonight.

Three airial attack helecopters are on scene. According to officials, the fire is actively burning at night and is at zero percent containment.

Hannagan Meadow Lodge has been evacuated in addition to campgrounds and ranches in the area.

The fire is approximately 15 miles from Alpine Arizona and the town and neighboring residences have not been evacuated.

See prior updates for areas under mandatory evacuation at this time.

Prior Post 06/01/2011, 4:15 p.m. - Evacuations in effect due to Wallow Fire's progression

Apache County Sheriff's deputies started evacuating dozens of campers in the Sprucedale area this afternoon, June 1, along Forest Road 26 about 18 miles northeast of the area where the Wallow Fire originated.

It was reported that fire crews were planning back-burns near two guest ranches in the Sprucedale area.

The movement of the fire has prompted the forest to announce the closure of the Alpine Ranger District of the Apache Sitgreaves National Forests effective immediately.

The southern boundary of the Closure Area is the Mogollon Rim and goes north to Forest Roads 249 and 116. The western side of the closure is the boundaries of the San Carlos Apache and White Mountain Apache Indian Reservations and goes east to Highway 191.

Highway 191 is closed from Alpine, AZ on the north, to the Strayhorse Campground on the south.

Portions of both Greenlee County and Apache County are affected by the closure.

A mandatory evacuation of all residents and visitors within the closure area is also in effect immediately. Private property within the closure area includes Sprucedale, Beaver Creek Ranch, Beaverhead, Brentwood and residents along Forest Road 26. Campgrounds include West Fork, and all of the campgrounds along the East Fork of the Black River. There is no access to the Black River.

Big Lake Recreation Area including all of the surrounding campgrounds remain open. Access to the area is from Highway 261 and Highway 273.

EDITOR'S NOTE: William Wiltbank owner of Beaver Creek Guest Ranch in the Sprucedale area signed an evacuation refusal with Apache County Sheriff's deputies late this afternoon. Deputies reported that he was gathering up horses at the ranch.

Prior Post 06/01/2011, 9:00 a.m. - Wallow Fire consumes 6,699 acres; community meeting tonight at 6 p.m.

A Community Meeting will be held beginning at 6 p.m. tonight at the Round Valley High School Auditorium in Springerville. Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests personnel and Eastern Arizona Incident Management Team representatives will present information about the Wallow Fire and answer the public's questions.

The Wallow Fire has grown to 6,699 acres as of Tuesday morning. Single and group tree torching with short sustained crown runs in heavy fuels were observed Tuesday. The fire continues to spot ahead and is actively backing down slopes. The fire remains active during nighttime hours due to poor relative humidity recoveries.

Forest Road (FR) 24 at the junction of FR 26 and Acre Lake Loop, also known as FR 8312, will be closed today. KP Cienega and Hannagan Campgrounds were closed Tuesday. An Emergency Road Closure is in effect at the junction of Forest Roads 24 and 25 off of Highway 191 to the Black River Bridge. Residents who live in Springerville, Eagar, Nutrioso, Alpine, and Luna, NM will continue to see and smell drift smoke from the Wallow Fire. Residents in Reserve, NM and Clifton, AZ have also reported significant smoke. Please see this link for information on proper precautions: http://www.azdhs.gov/phs/oeh/wildfire.htm

The A-S National Forests Fire Restrictions went into effect at midnight on May 31. The restrictions prohibit campfires, except in fire grills provided in developed recreation sites, smoking, except in an enclosed vehicle or building, and welding with an open flame. Please see the Forest website for more information: http://www.fs.fed.us/r3/asnf/

Fire Facts

Date started: 5/29/2011

Personnel: 418, including 10 handcrews

Current location: 18 miles SW of Alpine, AZ

Equipment: 10 engines, 3 water tenders, 2 dozers

Cause: under investigation

Aircraft: 2 heli-tankers, 2 Air Attack planes,

Size: 6,699

1 med. and 1 light helicopter, 4 Air Tankers on order

Percent contained: 0

Estimated containment date:

Injuries to date: 0

Cost to date: $916,542



Prior Post 05/31/2011, 12:30 p.m. - Wallow Fire grows to 2,616 acres; zero percent containment

The Wallow Fire is actively spreading at a rate of up to a mile in a 24-hour period. Isolated and group torching of trees has been observed with the fire spotting ahead an average of 100 to 150 feet. The fire is currently located both inside and outside of the Bear Wallow Wilderness area and is burning in grass, brush and mixed conifer with a large dead and down component.

Firefighters are scouting for containment opportunities that include roads and terrain features. They are also assessing needs for protection of structures along Forest Road 26 including Hannagan Lodge, Josh Ranch, Beaver Creek, Sprucedale and the Reno lookout.

An Emergency Road Closure is in effect at the junction of Forest Roads 24 and 25 off of Highway 191 to the Black River Bridge. Motorists traveling Highway 191 may have limited visibility due to smoke. Residents who live in Springerville, Eagar, Nutrioso, Alpine, and Luna, NM will continue to see and smell drift smoke from the Wallow Fire.

The Incident Command Post is located at the Alpine Elementary School.

Strong sustained and gusty winds are expected at various times throughout the coming week. Please check for RED FLAG conditions and updates by dialing 593 or 928-333-3412 or on the website 593info.org, the A-S National Forest website at: http://www.fs.fed.us/r3/asnf/ or here on WMIcentral.com.

Fire Facts

Date started: 5/29/2011

Number of personnel: 207

Current location: 18 miles SW of Alpine, AZ

Equipment: 10 engines, 3 water tenders, 2 dozers

Cause: under investigation

Aircraft: 2 helit-tankers, 2 Air Attack planes,

Size: 2,616

1 med. and 1 light helicopter, 4 Air Tankers on order

Percent contained: 0

Estimated containment date:

Injuries to date: 0

Cost to date: $50,000



Prior Post 05/30/2011 - 9:45 a.m.

The Wallow Fire burning southwest of Alpine, Arizona is actually two fires burning very close together. One has spread to 850 acres, the other is estimated at 600 acres. They are about a mile apart. A Type II Team will be taking command of the fire today.



Prior Post 05/29/2011 - 10:00 p.m.

A wildfire called the “Wallow Fire” is located about 15 miles southwest of Alpine, Arizona (legal: T3N, 28E, Sec 16) in the Bear Wallow Wilderness area. Currently the fire is at approximately 100 acres and is believed to be human caused. Resources on the scene are two engines, a dozer and a Type II team and additional resouces are enroute. The Type II Team will be briefed and transitioned on Monday at Noon.

The Reno Fire Lookout and some campers have been evacuated, and Hannagan Lodge residents have been notified. The Forest Service is asking recreationists and travelers to avoid the area at this time.

A road closure is in place from Wildcat Point on Forest Service Road 25 to Highway 191. The public is asked to avoid this area as well.

Strong winds are predicted for Monday with gusts as high as 34 mph. Please check for RED FLAG conditions and updates by dialing 593 or 928-333-3412 or on the website 593info.org at the ASNFs website at: http://www.fs.fed.us/r3/asnf/ or here on WMIcentral.com.

Another wildfire occurred Saturday afternoon called the “Club Fire” and was located in the Pinetop Country Club area. The fire is being called contained at 13.5 acres with a dozer line around the perimeter. No structures were threatened and no evacuations were called on this fire with fuel types of pine and grass.

A reminder, northern Arizona is very dry and we ask you call to inquire about fire restrictions for the Apache-Sitreaves National Forests or any area you plan on camping or recreating.

Here is quick overview of what RED FLAG means to you. The use of campfires and charcoal grills are prohibited on the Apache-Sitgreaves National Forests during RED FLAG conditions, as is smoking, except within a building, an automobile, a developed recreation site, or within a minimum 3 feet diameter area cleared of burnable material. Pressurized gas stoves are allowed. Private property owners may have to get a permit from their local fire department to do any burning, or may be prohibited from any open burning until red flag conditions subside.

Forest Service offices and local fire departments fly the RED FLAG when severe fire weather conditions are present.

The Forest Service continues to promote safety messages to those visiting any national forest. As dry conditions exists, please use extreme caution if camping on the A-S or any national forest. There are no fire restrictions currently on the A-S, but check prior to heading out to camp to check if there are any restrictions in place or Red Flag Warnings.

Safety tips to follow when visiting public lands or other areas:

When finished with the use of a campfire, completely extinguish your campfire by drowning the fire, stirring it, and drowning it again. Never leave a campfire unattended!

Be careful with gas lanterns, barbeques, gas stoves, and anything that can be a source of ignition for a wildfire.

Park vehicles away from dry grass and avoid driving through tall grass.

Dispose of a lit cigarette or other smoking materials appropriately.

http://www.wmicentral.com/news/pre-evacuation-alert-for-alpine-in-effect-apache-sitgreaves-forest/article_39ab81fe-8a47-11e0-abac-001cc4c002e0.html

"You'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on you!"

Those were the loving words my mother would always yell at me if I'd misplace something: my school books, my wallet, my important papers. I can't blame her for losing patience with me; I have always been perpetually scatter-brained. Although I have never had to look for my head, it's my mind I've lost on a few occassions. Decades later I still have the same problem: Keys, wallet, dog leashes, work badge often are misplaced.

"If you'd put your wallet in the same place every day after work you'd always kniow where it is!" Kevin says. That's easy for him to say because I always forget what that same place is!

I've gotten better over the years putting things in common areas but every now and then I still fail at finding stuff. Even at work I always make sure my wallet is in my front pocket, my keys are in my bag, etc. I also do the same thing while hiking; I'd hate to lose my keys somewhere at 9000 feet.

So last weekend I did the usual gear check multiple times while on a hike. Keys? Check. Cell phone? Check. Wallet? Check. This was a slow, social hike where we enjoyed a group picnic afterwards. When I got home I removed my pocket's contents and showered because K and I were going to a high school graduation for his best friend's daughter in Bisbee.

And now I honestly can't remember if I drove off with my wallet with me. I had my cell phone and camera, as usual, but the wallet...I simply don't know.

The next day I needed to drive into town for a quick errand and couldn't find my wallet. I drove into town without it, but was determined to look for the thing when I got home.

I couldn't find it anywhere. All my usual places in the house proved futile. It wasn't in the bathroom, it wasn't on the microwave, it wasn't by the front door, it wasn't around my cluttered computer desk, which, honestly, could be declared an abyss. It also wasn't locked up in my glove compartment, although I looked all over the truck several days and was even forced to clean out my truck in search of my wallet and all I found were gas receipts from Charlestown, WV where gas was $1.74 on August 17, 2004.

I refused to believe I had actually LOST my wallet. It had to be somewhere, ANYWHERE, so I did a thorough cleansing of my truck, which, I must admit, was already a few years past due. I must have removed several pounds of sand and dog fur from the crevices of my truck.

By Day Three of the missing wallet I started panicking. I probably lost it somwhere, perhaps when I stopped my truck on the way home from Bisbee that night to photograph the night scene of the city lights in the distance.

By Day Four I gave up the search and planned on getting all my documents replaced: drivers license, retired military ID card, credit card. I dreaded calling up my credit card because the last time I had to call them to report fraudulent use, the issuer lowered my credit limit by $7000. I was determined to postpone this for as long as possible. But this also meant that any roadtrip anywhere would have to be cancelled or postponed until the essentials were replaced.

By Day Five a critical day had arrived. K was leaving for a few days in Phoenix where his daughter had flown in to visit for a few days. I would be all alone in this house with three goofy dogs, one blood-thirsty cat and a geriatric Siamese with "special needs." Oh joy. And although I love having the house to myself for several days--I can play Italian rock songs or my Germans Tagesschau as loud as possible and not have him yell at me to "TURN THAT SHIT DOWN!"--I also wouldn't have anyone to talk to or eat dinner with. It was back to microwaved Swiss cheese tortillas and green pea soups for a while.

As the final moment came where K was ready to leave, he said out loud from the hallway "Hey Connie, come here, I want to show you something."

Oh uh. The last time he said THAT it turned out to be a turd in the middle of my office.

I hesitantly walked over to where K stood in the hallway, his right arm pointing to something in my office. He was smiling widely.

There is was, my wallet. It was laying on the backside of my little TV, black-on-black, well camouflaged. It was not exactly in one of its regular places, and I don't even remember putting it there, a condition I seem to find myself more in lately anyway. A big relief came over me. YAY! No long line at the DMV, no calling the credit card issuer AGAIN about a new card, no having to replace my military ID card and having to deal with grumpy government workers.

What was it that George Carlin said about looking for lost things? "When you lose something, the longer you look for it, the stranger the places are that you are looking. ...You know why? You've already looked in the easy places. Those are the first places we look, the obvious places. That's why people say to each other, 'Well, I've looked everywhere.' Well, apparently NOT...the...damn thing is still gone, isn't it?!? Let's keep looking in obvious places. I'll look in the furnace, you check the cesspool." Carlin forgot to mention the back of TVs.